Circles of fear – a very personal story (Episode 5 (Summer 2007-Summer 2010))

Episode 1

Episode 4

Sing the Blues

Sing the Blues (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

My singing teacher is the only person among my friends that is only surprised about my choice of leaving school for homeschool. He can even find some positive aspects of my choice. My (ex-)girlfriend and especially my mother (who is a German highschool teacher) are shocked. To convince my parents, I want to pay the homeschooling fee with the money I earn working at the Fraunhofer. I teach myself java programming there and work on a project to simulate security scenarios.

My parents accept my decision under the condition that I check it out for the free four weeks and then think about it again. My father gets ill with a psychosis a bit later and claims to be stronger than I am.  But he loses his “war of nerves” against my mind and leaves the battlefield to recover in a psychatric hospital.

Rock Band

Rock Band (Photo credit: spakulsk)

After this time of trouble, there is a kind of peaceful co-existence in the family, I have made peace with my mother and try to support her while my father is in the psychatric hospital. I find my first band projects and succeed to control and balance my energy flow and body ressources.

In sum, I feel a lot more grown-up and in good condition (body and mind). I hit the hard floor of reality when I get three out of fifteen points at the Maths pre-exam. I only can thank to my good French pre-exam achievements that I pass the pre-exam and am allowed to attend to the final exams for my diploma. I work very hard for the next two monts, I study old Maths exams, in sum about 120 hours of studying. I get twelve out of fifteen points in the final Maths exam which is helpful for my wish of studying Computer Science.

Before the final oral exams, I worry about Physics because I’ve never done my homework in a good quality. I take lessons at a nice and competent student and get twelve out of fifteen points in the final oral exam and a remark “Have you ever worked in a job related to Physics?” which I take as a compliment.

Mathematics homework

Mathematics homework (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A few days later, I’m the proud owner of a German highschool diploma (Abitur) with a GPA of C+ (2,7). I feel well prepared for my studies to become a Computer Scientist. I have chosen to study and work fifty-fity for three years (cooperative study program at the DH, Karlsruhe) and found a very cool drugstore chain with a great working and employee philosophy for the working phases.

I find my love seaching for a musician by a girl who plays the guitar. We spend an exciting first year of our love, our music and my studies. My singing skills improve and I feel like getting more and more the best of myself feeling a harmony with my inner vibes. By recovering from my psychosis, I seem to have become a sort of an expert in the field of psychic illnesses and try to support my friends and their friends to find the reasons and solutions for their problems.

Episode 6

Now I have this blog and you can contact me in the comment section or just ask me for my email adress there and I will send you an email so that we can talk about everything you want to.

I wish you only the best, may peace surround you and happiness rule your mind.

Yours sincerely,



15 thoughts on “Circles of fear – a very personal story (Episode 5 (Summer 2007-Summer 2010))

  1. Pingback: Circles of fear – a very personal story (Episode 6 (Summer 2010 – Summer 2014)) | On The Light Side Of Gamification

  2. I read all 5 Episodes and I will comment on this one for all of them. I want to thank you for taking me on your journey with you. It was very touching and very brave. I do understand your passion for encouraging and alternative education now, and yes you would find it in Abu Dhabi. I think your are set for success now 🙂

  3. Thank you for sharing your brave story, Chris! Bravo! I’ve had loved ones in my family who suffered with mental illness as well and it’s comforting to know that you’ve fought through and recovered. It takes great strength, so keep going strong!

    • Hey Rachel,
      you’re welcome, thank you very much for you being so kind and making me smile a little bit proud of myself 😉 I encourage you to share this story with your loved ones and I will be happy to email with them and trying to find out what we can do to make them feel and do better.
      Have a great day,

  4. You are doing the right thing by sharing this. It’s very intimate and personal, yet I’m sure there are others out there who can relate to this on some level. I know I can.

    I am happy to have found you 🙂

  5. Pingback: Circles of fear – a very personal story (Episode 4 (Summer 2007)) | On the light side of gamification

Become a brave one - leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s